All aboard!!

So................................................

Like the weather, things are about to change. For the better? I am not sure, I hope so, but change scares me. After four years I have turned into a professional settler. Not sure what change may bring, but change is good so they say. We shall see.......

Impending - Not long now, but a long time coming
Ambition - Personal ambition, future goals
Motorway - Long miles, long hours
Salary - Increase or decrease?
Opportunity - Will the world be my oyster?
Secret - A not so secret secret
Career - Potential for promotion
Alone - New place, new people
Reasons - No future? Deserved opportunity?
Emotions - Mixed feelings
Decisions - Right or wrong one?

But hey, all will come out in the wash

NUFAN

Will the world be my oyster? Who knows? I guess only time will tell.

When you're strange...

Fears

Most people have fears, some are obvious such as heights, spiders, panda bears. Others are not so 'every day'.

When I was younger I used to love watching scary movies, talking about the occult, unknown, UFO's, creatures of the night, nothing would scare me. I would happily walk through woods or fields with derelict barns and buildings in late at night with not a care in the world. 

And now?!?!I am nearly 30 and suffer from many MANY fears, fears I did not have as a child. Why? I do not know!

Clowns - I remember walking around the Chequers Centre in Maidstone as a little scrote of around 6 and this clown walking up to me on stilts. I cried and hid behind my mums legs and wouldn't come out at all. I have no idea where my fear of clowns come from but I know that I still have it to this day. That said, one of my favourite books and even films of all time is Stephen King's 'IT' an absolutely fantastic read and not a bad watch either. The sound of fairground music sends shivers down my spine and makes me want to crawl in to a ball somewhat reminiscent of a cheesey-bug! I recently worked at the Dreamland site in Margate and prior to commencement of the contract I have to carry out some investigatory site surveys....alone! I would have been in my element should I have been 15 again, but as a 28 year old....too much. The wandering around long empty corridors, countless rooms that seemed to procreate and just appear, the knowledge that it is an abandoned amusement park/funfair playing on my mind. I just waited to hear some carousel music start up....too much for me at times. Just to add, the whole place was pitch black and I only had a flashlight!.

One of our painter was painting in one of the rooms and swore a waft of perfume passed by him, EEEEK! 

















Spiders - I hate spiders. I will tread on them - if they are small, spray them with polish/bleach/deodorant/napalm/boiling water - if they are medium, and if they are large I will run the f**k away from them as quickly as my little hobbit like feet will take me. I know why I hate spiders too. I was at a party celebrating my Nan & Grandpa's anniversary (or it could have been my grandpa's retirement) There was a Black Forest Gateau, that is how long ago this was, sitting on a fridge in the outer kitchen area defrosting. It came to the time when we could eat said gateau. I was given a piece and felt something stick to my lips, and whatever it was was moving. I spat it out into my hand, it was a bloody great house spider that had burrowed into the gateau. I cried and have hated spiders ever since. Strangely though I like Daddy Long Legs and can just about bear tarantulas. House spiders or anything in the house that just appear out of the blue around the house.

Sound - Since I bust my left ear drum I have tinnitus making it hard to hear things in a conversational environment, but also if I am alone in the sitting room, working on the iMac, walking in the dark or just laying in the dark my hearing on my left side shuts down and only comes on when something is close enough or loud enough to make a noise, this then makes me jump. I maintain that I could sit in the world's most haunted place and, as long as I could not hear anything I would be happy. In addition to the problem of sound scaring me some music I listen to makes me jump. I hate music that has a pause of around 10 seconds as my issue of not being able to hear correctly makes my brain work hard to adjust to not hearing anything, so if a song seems to have ended then kicks in again, I will jump out of my skin.

Being alone - I hate being alone but at the same time love going to France, speak nothing but French and be by myself. 




Big Bird - I used to have nightmares about Big Bird from Sesame Street. I used to think that he was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs at my old house ready to get me. This happened until I was about 10 years old! I am not ashamed to admit this as my fear was real!

Sooty & Leo the Cats - We had an old family cat called Sooty, she was also known as Fat Cat, we also had a cat called Leo. They both used to sit on the window board of the window at the top of the stairs. I used to think that they were going to grab my head with their claws as I walked down the stairs. This coupled with Big Bird waiting to ambush me made for colourful ways of getting downstairs unnoticed by my fears.

Thundercats - I used to love watching Thundercats as a little chap, so much so that I asked to have my bedroom decorated in Thundercats wallpaper. My mum and dad did this for me. I could not wait for it to be finished, but when it was I slept in it for one night and had nightmares so let my kid sister have the bigger room. I then slept in the smaller room because I was too scared to stay in my newly decorated room. 

















Minks - This one I am kind of embarrassed to say about but will any way. When I was a lot younger (26....jokes) I was told by Terri Cuddington and Hayley Lambert that Minks were little angry people that would try and eat your legs and fishing bait when you ere fishing and that minks would fight dogs and cats. I lived a stones throw from the River Medway and went fishing with my dad a lot of the time, sometimes by myself. I have no idea why I believed them as they are/were common and I am not. But I really did believe that Minks were little people who ere incredibly violent and wanted to eat people.

Pikes - As I fished a lot with my dad I always prayed I never caught a Pike. They scare me. Even to this day if I go fishing I hope I do not catch on as, to me and probably me only, they are very human-like. If you ever see one swimming whilst you are walking along a river they look like they are stalking you and want to eat you. I have been sat at a fishing swim and had a Pike swim past my keep net eyeing up my fish. I hit the water with my landing net only for the pike to look at me as if to say..."what are YOU going to do about it, I will eat you next!" I have never, and will never want to catch a pike, although I have nearly caught on accidentally, luckily it was foul hooked and got away. Phew!

I am a big baby, frightened of so much, I am a lover, not a fighter, Put me in the coward category if you will!

These time they are a changing

What to write about today?

I shall write about................................

The Weather

A typically British thing to talk about, but I shall talk about it nonetheless. Being 5'7"ish, 5'8" on a good day, large and covered in what can only be described as fur I do not like the hot weather. I like the sun, no in fact I LOVE the sun I just hate the heat. So waking up today to a super fresh morning but bright blue skies and the sun shining proudly was lovely. Ideally it should be about another 10 degrees cooler and just as bright for me to be in my perfect climate.

My Favourite seasons in order and why:

(these views are based on actual seasonal weather, not some unnaturally hot spring or so on)

1st Place = Winter
I love waking up to fresh weather, clear skies, thick frost, snow. I love that first sniff of winter morning air, so cold it burns your nose. Skies crystal clear, speech punctuated with your breath as it warms the air! Trees and building decorated with frost and icicles glinting with sunlight. Wearing sweaters and scarves. The dance of the slippery asphalt as everyone starts walking like newborn deer learning to find their balance. I like how the black and white of bare trees is accentuated by the bright blue sky. The nights are darker but the moon ever present shines so brightly like a night light, a constant reminder that its brother, the sun, will be back in the morning.

2nd Place = Spring:- 

Much the same as above however the colours this time year are amazing. new growth, bursts of colour as new life springs into the flowers and hedgerows, how the grass is greener and breaks up the black and white of the late frosts. The sounds of the animals as they wake up and return to their everyday business, getting ready for next winter, a slog that seemingly never ends.

3rd Place = Autumn:- 

Another season of colour. Before the trees lose their leaves, the gold and brown hues they adopt, the winds, the rain, the sense that this is the season of cleansing, washing itself of the dryness and dustiness of Summer. The smell and sound of heavy rain pounding the already weakened leaves, wetting the dry ground. Walking home on the increasingly darker evenings, sitting with family as the winds blows a hooey outside. Eating stew and drying off in front of the fire, readying ourselves for winter.

4th Place = Summer:- 

Although last Summer is not actually that bad. The increasingly longer warmer, brighter days, sitting outside awash a wide array of summer colours, cooking food on the barbecue, sitting in the garden with friends till late at night as the sky turns a purple blue, the sun refusing to go down until the very last moment. Giving everyone a couple hours of not so complete darkness, rising again with vigour.

That is all,

Nufan

HEY! Whatsa Matter You!

I am so proud of my kid sister, Rusty. I am 29 this year and Rusty is 27, not much difference in age, but quite different people.

She is totally awesome. I won't go in to the details of her job, but I can tell you I am incredibly proud of what she does and how she does it and certainly respect and admire when others don't.

I had a barbecue at home last Sunday, my little bear was running around the garden, I was cooking the food on the braai and every now and then Nix would take over cooking duties as I would get dragged away by the little bear shouting "Daddy ook, ook" I trusted that she wanted to show me something amazing, but no. I was tickled to the floor and beaten up by my 26 month old daughter. She then proceeded to run away, turn on a sixpence and come haring back and dive on me, knocking the wind right out of me. It reminded me of when my brother, sister and I fought my father in the kiddies dining room at home. My sister nonchalantly pulled out a chair, climbed up it and went to jump on my father from a great height. To screams of NOOOO!!!! she dismounted and joined in tickling him.

My sister went to Dave Keefes, James Stones and other friends house and asked me to pick her up late one night. She was over an hour late and so very very drunk. I threw her in the back of the car and heard some random drunk rambling coming from behind the drivers seat. 

Rusty: "I reeble ink olling free nick"
Me: "Huh!?"
Rusty: "I reeble ink olling free nick"
Me: "What!?"
Rusty: "I reeble ink olling free nick"
Me: "WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY!?"
Rusty: "I think I am going to be sick" 
Me: (angrily) " F**K SAKE, Can you hold it?!
Rusty: ".................yes"
*Silence*
Rusty: "...................I've been sick..................sorry"

I wiped up as much as I could and gave her some of my clothes to wear for the remainder of the journey, looking back it was really quite funny. I just cannot wait for her to start driving so I can return the favour.

I also remember working in Canterbury super early on morning and listening to the radio. I heard Stephen Gately of Boyzone fame had died. I stopped everything I was doing and called my parents and asked them to call Rusty and make sure she was ok and to look after her. I could not do it. I hate hearing my little sister cry. She is the strong one of the family.

My fathers uncle passed away and we all went to the funeral. Sitting on the pews somewhere near the back. The vicar invited everyone to the Spread Eagle pub to which my sister and I had to stifle a laugh and go back to looking all sad. 

My little sister is by far the emotionally strongest person I know, she is smart, kind and caring albeit we do sometimes fight like cat and dog. She is one of the only people I can actually trust and know what I say will be kept secret. 

Nufan

Hmmmmm......Feel worthless much?

Well now.

This is a story, all about how, my life got twist turned upside down.................

Some time ago I got approached, head-hunted if you will, by a company, not just any company, a GLOBAL consultancy company. For me mentally this was amazing, for my professional progression it could have been life changing. Here is what happened...........

I work for a building contractor in the UK. I started on site about 5 years ago as a broom sweeper, nothing flash. I hear about an office job coming up so thinking about the future and being the kind of person who wants to be the best they can be and constantly better than the next, I decided to go for it. 

I got the job and started work in the office as a Trainee Estimator/Surveyor. Time went by and I got better, more independent, yet still a Trainee and wanting a whole lot more. My job entailed phoning people, photocopying documents, filling out full Bills of Quantities, copying drawings, inputting data, donkey work. 

I was asked if I would like to Survey a small contract, of course I said yes, this was my chance to prove to everyone the desire and ability I had that was not being utilised. I snapped the opportunity up. I ran the whole contract through tender stage onto pre commencement, contract vetting, buying, surveying, contract and project management, final account settlement and even the snagging, which there was none; a few minor defects, but an overall success. 

Following this I was asked to carry on assisting in the estimating department but also assist in the surveying of three separate projects all of the same brief. The senior surveyor assigned to the contract change several times leaving me in charge for the most part. Eventually things settled down and again I was left on the sidelines. The contracts had a fair few hiccups and I, the Trainee Estimator/Surveyor, resolved them; I was calm when others were not, I was methodical when others were not, I was polite when others were not, but most importantly because of my attention to detail, methodical working and belief I was right when others were not. On handover, I was thanked,  the clients and their professionals remarked on how professional I was, how it was good to have worked with me and an asset I am to the company. During a conversation after practical completion someone referred to me as the Contracts Manager only to be told by others that I am only a Trainee Estimator/Surveyor. The silence held for what seemed like a long time broken by a "well you should be nothing less than a senior Contracts Manager and I am very impressed". Needless to say, I was a very happy man and hoped people would listen to this.........they did not.

I was approached around a year after completion by one of the professionals within the consultancy company. I met them with for a coffee, a proposal of a job offer was made, it was nothing firm but a provisional offer nonetheless. We chatted, I handed over my resume and waited to hear something. Something came, a firm intention from the company that they wanted ME to work for them. I could not believe it, it all seemed too good to be true. It was. I was asked what my salary expectations were. I worked out a figure and put it forward, I got a reply and was told that the figure was not what they were looking to pay. I lowered my pay expectation, but could not accept the offer that was made. If I had accepted I would have had to have driven from my place and across the county each morning working out at a negative figure. I tried to make the numbers work, but taking everything into consideration it just wouldn't. 

I emailed them again recently to discuss the situation and received a positive response, but still waiting for my dream job to appear if it ever will.

So I sit here, still copying documents, inputting data and everything else but I now have to cold call people and trawl the internet all the while an external labour agency has been brought in to do the same. What am I doing wrong?! 

In five years I have lost, my confidence, my desire, my goals. I am exactly where I was when I started only now know there is nothing to aim for in the company. I hate this, I live my life in 5 year goals. I was the kind of person who never wanted to settle for second best, who never had a 'that will do' attitude, who always wanted to be better themselves. 

Sorry this blog is a woe with me state of affairs and all about me. I just need to get it out as it is eating me inside. I'm not depressed, I am just downbeat about how someone like myself a optimistic goal driven person is now not even a 'has been', I seem to be a 'never was'

Nufan

I am not "No Use For a Name"

Dear everyone,


I just want to clarify that my Blog "The Blog of NUFAN" is in no way related to the band called No Use For a Name other than they are one of my all-time favourite bands! My sincerest apologies if you are looking at this Blog because of the name and are expecting to see something related to the band. This is not the case.


Origins of 'NUFAN Productions'  :-  I started college in September 2000 studying a Media Production course. Part of this course was to create a fictional production company under which my college show reel would be produced. I decided that I would call my company NUFAN Productions. Only after this did my older brother introduce to me No Use For a Name; I was hooked. Everything made under the banner of Nufan Productions made no profit as it was only college work. My nickname for everything is Nufan. At college and even within my sports teams I got called Nufan by my friends. I don't know why but I use nicknames for pretty much everyone. I call my kid sister 'Rusty', that is not her name. I call my papa, Bruv that is not his name. I call my mother, Muv that is not her name. I call my uncle 'Cuz' that is not his name and I call my brother 'Leeroy' that is not his name. I call my neighbour 'Bolts' that is not her name. See a pattern here?!


It is with a sad heart that I talk about the news of Tony Sly of No Use For a Name. Tony passed away at only 41 years old. He was amazing, his voice carried the immense songs he wrote. I remember my brother giving me NUFAN's album out of the Fat Wreck Chords 'Live In a Dive' series to listen to. What an album, what a sound, and what is more, it was LIVE!! They sounded so so good! The melodies, the guitar, the drums and the bass sounds complementing the vocals were just so good. Pure unadulterated So-Cal punk. That was it for me, hooked. To hear that Tony has passed away is horrible for music, so many leave us so young. My thoughts are with his family at such a sad time. Peace out and sleep well Tony!


Thanks to my brother I was introduced to some amazing music. My brother to me was THE punk rocker. I recall him spiking his 13" mohican hairdo with soap and toothpaste, coming home, falling asleep wherever he fell and waking up with his mohawk perfectly rigid albeit at a ninety degree angle to his head. He wet the bottom and put it back in its erect position. He wore safety pins in his ears, which he pierced himself whilst drunk. He worse a bicycle chain around his neck, padlocked, he wore tall Doc M's and skinny cut off jeans. I remember my brother like this for such a long time. I listened to his music through walls. Was introduced to The Sex Pistols, Rancid, Ramones, Dexys Midnight Runners :), Blink 182, Stiff Little Finger, Black Flag, Buzzcocks, Descendants, The Exploited, New York Dolls, Sham 69, Siouxsie & the Banshees, Social Distortion Suicidal Tendencies, Lagwagon, NOFX, The Offspring and so on and so on and so on.....


I never dressed like my brother, I wore shorts, longsleeved t-shirts under t-shirts, polo shirts, Adios, DC's. Although I could never really skateboard I was able to ollie and cause a nuisance around Maidstone, Kent. I was more of an inline skater, hockey player. I had short hair. Went to the gym. and sang in the church choir on Sundays. I love music. I listen to absolutely everything. However I have recently been listening exclusively to classical music. My dream is to have a study in my house where I can listen to classical music, smoke cigars, drink my whiskey but at the same time play my guitars, my Xbox and just chillax. Because of my exclusive playlist, Classic FM thank you. I decided to listen to some music off of my iMac. I set up shuffle, pressed play and some Tsunami Bomb came on, followed by Jimmy Eat World then Glassjaw then Alkaline Trio and it just kept going and going, a whole hour of music I had not listened to in months. It made my day.

Reading this back it reads like my brother has passed away. He hasn't he lives in New Zealand with his beautiful family and has done for the last 10 years. I just miss him, a lot. He was a bank manager, but now a head of telecommunications still with a mohwak albeit much much shorter and not dyed green, red, pink and orange; it is now just the old Smith-Family ash blonde. 


I say punk is not dead, it is just working for a telecommunications company in New Zealand!  Love you brother!


NUFAN

Flash! Ah Ha!

Welcome back one and all.


I have not been on here for a couple of days. I have been......................WORKING *shock horror*! I need a holiday.


So what to say?!


I built a gate at the weekend. I only have to build two more gates and concrete the car parking hard standing for my motor vehicle. But will put off doing that until we either .. 


a.) Buy the house 
b.) Get given a leave of stay and the landlord changes his mind and allows us to stay forever
or 
see.) Something happens.


As I write this i am staring at a bottle of water that I filled up from the water cooler last Friday. Do I drink it, do I not? I would rather not get legionnaires disease from drinking stagnant water. Hmm I am rather thirsty though. Here goes..................................................slurp, hiccup gulp.......................................


TADA! I am fine, so far anywho. Only time will tell.

Right, back to it. What has happened that noone would actually want to know about? Let me see. Last night, (07/31/2012), I was stroking my cat who was standing on top of the fence. I say stroking, I had my hand up on the fence attempting to stroke him and all the evil spawn of satan cat did was some kind of pole dance around my wrist. I was not impressed, especially when I looked up and caught him rubbing the what looked like the end of a sausage roll on my hand and purring. Not happy. I am certainly a dog person. The funniest thing is. He tried to turn around on the fence, then fell off and those who know me, no! I did not push him.

The cat also jumped up on to the window ledge and overshot his jump and face planted himself into the window.


I love beach volleyball and yes, the reason is EXACTLY why you think it is!


On a recent rip to my local Asda (Walmart for my US & Canada audience! Like I actually have a following?!hahaha) I was asked to look for some Cadbury chocolate covered pretzels. I must clarify, I did not walk in to the store, get stopped and then get asked to buy them from a random stranger and given a time limit a'la Crystal Maze. I was asked by my higher power to see if I could find them. To my surprise they were sold out and I know why!!!!. Not a happy bunny!!!


"Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? They're a little melty but damn are they exquisite" HAHAHAHA


I have hurt my hamstring. How, I don't know.

Oh, by the way, I like turtles!

Oh Dear What Can The Matter Be

Good morning one and all!


I have just heard about Robert Pattinson being cheated on by Kristen Stewart, oh dear. The poor little vampire! The things that gets to me and makes me sad is that he didn't even get to win the triwizard tournament! He was so close, then POW avada kedavra! 


The above does not really bother me at all. I do not rate these people as people or actors in any way shape or form. They are not true celebrities or actors. Brian Blessed! Now there is an actor! Booming voice, GRRRREAT BEARD!

Aaahhhhaahaaahhaa(Tarzan Call)

For James................I had an Asda strawberry cone yesterday after my lovely chicken salad dindins. I don't know about y'all, but the best part of a 'Cornetto-style' ice cream lolly is the chocolate nub at the bottom of the cone, no? The cone was kind of chewy, not crunchy, huge dissapointment set in as normally once I have demolished the top part of the ice cream I gnaw at my cone like a hamster round in a spiral fashion. Instead I was chewing at the cone like a dog eating a pigs ear. I took a bite of the ice cream and the whole lot came out of the cone. It looked like that part in Shrek when he pulls the wax out of his ear, tasted nice though. Then to the nub o' chocolate, yummy yummy for my tummy.

Asda you didn't fail me.

Buzz must have had a hard night, he fell asleep in his breakfast.

Stone the crows!

Well I'll be, it is Thursday. The weekend is so close! Huzzah I hear you cry, but NO!! we have another day to contend with............FRIDAY.


Fridays are for me the second slowest day of the week next to Monday. Working in construction I have heard "This week is dragging" at 9am on a Monday. I could not agree more!!


I like show tunes and musicals, I just thought you should know.

Sometimes I enjoy leaving the grass in the garden to grow to an extraordinary length then don my pinafore and my apron and pretend I am in the mountains singing. This is all well and good until I inadvertently tread on a slug, scream like a banshee then proceed to fall over in the most awkward looking fashion. I wouldn't mind, but squished slug juice is like napalm. It sticks to you and wont come off. Not quite like napalm as it is just an inconvenience, not a weapon of catastrophic proportions. Although my "beaker-like" friend recently told me of a slug infestation somewhere in Europe where there is such an abundance of slugs that they cover entire widths of roads and cause cars to lose traction, skid off and hurt the occupants ; like I said, slug juice is natures napalm.

Oh by the way, I always wanted to be a police man................
(apologies for the photo)

I am being taught how to blog by the worlds most self confessed technophobe!

I am supposed to be working, but instead I am writing my first entry on my blog!


I consider myself quite the technologically astute hero, after all I can program a Sky remote!

However, it seems that this blog has given me such a headache to the extent where I needed to ask my neighbour & greatfriend, who may as well be living in an era where the typewriter is king and the internet is non-existent, how to set this up! Bad times *insert semicolon and left hand bracket.


So, what to use this blog for? I see some people recommend products they have used and rate, some use it as an online diary for the world to see, other use it for the sake of using it.
I am not too sure the purpose of my blog, I guess time will tell.


In the meantime:


I had a Feast iced cream lolly the other day (other ice cream lolly's are available) the first chocolate I had in a long while (I'm on a diet...........bleurgh). The best part of it was the outer nutty chocolate coating. The ice cream inside was super watery and the chocolate flanking of the lolly stick was kind of powdery and hardly tasted of chocolate at all. Sooo not the same ice cream as when  was but a child, butter child, butter, fresh tiger bread & butter, Mmmmmmmmmm.


Today I went to Margate in the morning for a site visit. I then went to a car garage to get a quote for my car, who has no name, to get fixed. I am now waiting for the car doctor to ring me with the quotation. I hope it will not cost too much. I saw my mother dearest for lunch. I saw her sitting on a park bench (this is a real and did actually happen, I find that stories that start this way normally end up with someone talking about finding a random cat lady and talking about cats and pigeons or just a pigeon that they decide to talk to.........*huh?) So anywho mum and I chatted sh*t for an hour. It was good to see her as I seldom do. 


Playing golf this evening. Too hot for me. Where or where is my bright, clear blue skies with my minus 5 temperature? I am looking forward to it, but around half past five the realisation that I will not see my amazing fiance and daughter this evening will kick in and I will feel rubbish and not enjoy it. At least it gives them a break from me : )


All in all, things are all good in the hood. Oh check me, all gangster.

Peace grease and chicken wings!